Well, I asked my good BRAH and future wCw and WWF World Heavyweight Champion 'Too CoolER' Trevor Lowe to decide the which Pay Per View I should review next. Well my good UA blood BRAH answered 'HULK/WARRIOR II' and well I HAD to say 'OH HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH !!'
- We are live from Las Vegas, Nevada and none other than the WCW Triad (Mike, Bobby and Tony) are our hosts on this of all Holy Nights. Once every generation, people witness an event so big that they shall always treasure it in their hearts. A moment in which one man is revelled in glory, and the other in defeat. Someone is a conqueror, and the other is the conquered. On April 1st 1990, the world saw one of those moments. In Toronto, the two biggest forces the world has ever known went head-to-head and for three hours, the world was silent. For three hours, crime dropped, wars stopped, destruction and mayhem were all forgotten. That was Hogan/Warrior I. Now, this is Hogan/Warrior II !!!!!!!!!!!! The biggest rematch EVER !!! - Mean Gene begins the festivities with Rick Steiner for an interview. Rick talks about his solo match against Scott Steiner. Then out comes newly turned good guy, Buff Bagwell and he says that he will proudly be in Rick's corner. - Revan comes out and starts yaking about his losing streak and I dunno. SHUT UP !!! YOU'RE WORSE THAN BRETT HARTT !!!! I believe Revan mentions 'Conspiracy' but I am not sure because I can't understand a single word that he says (unlike Ahmed Johnson). Out comes the Lion Guy and he starts to whine too. Oh great ... eitherway this leads to ... - WCW Television Champion Lion Heart Chris Jericho vs. challenger Revan : This was an unscheduled match as you can tell and nobody cared about it then, and nobody cares about it now. Revan loses aaaaaaaaa-gayn. -** - The REAL Triple H (Hollywood Hulk Hogan) comes out and gives us a piece of his mind. - The Face of TERROR Meng vs. Wrath : Boy o boy. This is one BATTLE OF THE BIG MEN that will go down in history. The raw and pure power of THA MONSTA MENG matches those of Wrath. Thankfully that Mortis guy isn't there with Wrath. Whoever he is, he better not take any more Champagne, cause he stinks in the ring and he'd be worse if he did. I'd love to throw that guy in a canyon with men at work down there. Eitherway, after some thrilling minutes of action packed adventure, Wrath hits the Meltdown for the 'w'. *** Meng was in prime form here. - DA JEWS Juventud Guerrera vs. Disco Inferno in a Number One Contender's Match: Disco deserves so much more than this. He doesn't deserve to rot in the CW division with DA JEWS, Ray Ray, Edna Guerrera, etc ... He's just so much better than those guys. Eitherway, BORING match up that sees Diso get the win after a piledriver -** - The N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-Nitro Girls (1$ to Rikki Rachtman) dance for the crowd. - Now it's time for Scott Steiner and WCW Tag Team Champ The Giant (the other half was Scott Hall) to talk. They says let's make it a tag team match. If Rick and Buff win, not only do they win the belts, then Rick gets to fight Scott right after. - David Fat Finlay vs. Das Wunderpunk Alex Wright: This took place during the time that Alex was beating up every European wrestler in order to become WCW's premiere European. Why would anybody want that ?? USA USA USA USA USA USA !!! When you talk about matches that people PAY to see, you talk about this type of high caliber match. Wright wins the match after 5 minutes or so. ***. I may hate these guys, but they work well together (unlike Regal and Finlay) - Perry Satellite vs. Lodi: ANOTHER PPV caliber type match ?? WOW !!! The story is that at last month's PPV, Satellite freed all the members of Raven's Flock from Revan's 'mind control' and they were free to go. Many some happy (Kidman) and others just didn't want to let go. Enter Lodi. He still wanted to be with Revan, but I believe that Revan did not want to be with Lodi anymore. So there's your match. After the crowd was memermized by fellow Showgirl Satellite, he/she won after a DVD. I don't like him, but the drama made this match great *** - The N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-Nitro Girls (1$ to Rikki Rachtman) dance for the crowd again. - WCW Cruiserweight Champion Billy KIDman vs. challenger Disco Inferno: BLEH match where the only important thing is that Disco hits the Macarena Driver (1$ to James Fabiano). Despite that PAINFUL move, he still loses. KIDman just stinks at this point moreso than ever * - ORALE !!! The K-Dawg video !! Man I just love all these extra segments ! - WCW Tag Team Champion The Giant and Scott Steiner vs. challengers Buff Bagwell and Rick Steiner: No matter how many times I pray, or no matter how many times I wish so, CHucky does NOT appear on the show. Onto the match, Rick starts out and gets pummeled by his oppnents for the better part of the match. Then, whe nRick tags Buff, the MOST SHOCKING THING EVER takes place ... BUFF TURNS nWo AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe my eyes ! I NEVER saw that coming ! Now I know where Vince Russo got his idea for the 98 Survivor Series. Buff then leaves ringside as the nWo beats the heck out of the Dawg Faced One. The Gaint could win at any time but he keeps refuses to pin the good guy. Then, The Gaint misses THE BEST MISSILE DROPKICK IN THE BIZ, and hits Scott instead, and Rick becomes the proverbial house of fire and hits the top rope bulldog on Gaint for the win. Just a thrilling match. Easily ***** - WCW Tag Team Champion The Dawg Face Gremlin Rick Steiner vs. Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner: Rick demolishes his brother to the delight of the crowd. Then Stevie Ray and BILL CLINTON (!???!) come on down to ringside and attacks Rick ??? Wow I didn't know that Bill was a brotha from Texas errrrr I mean 110th street in Harlem. Future nWo leader Stevie Ray has the SLAPJACK and whacks Rick with it, but that can't stop the man. Rick hits the bulldog again and Nick Patrick counts to 3. **** Just not long enough. - Big Sexay Kevin Nash vs. Big Drinker Scott Hall: Nothing seems to be wrong with Scott tonight. The match goes on as usual. It seems like Kev isn't fighting back too hard and just letting Scott beat him up. Then all of a sudden, Kev starts to PUMMEL Scott and just crushes 'em (1$ to MEGAdeath). Kev hits the powerbomb and yet another one, then Kev walks away. Scott wins via count out. **** Just breathtaking. This is WAY better than their SummerSlam 94 match. - WCW United States Champion Brett Hartt vs. challenger Sting: This is somewhat a dream match for those who want to fall asleep. Bret is just as quick as WOYAH from the 88 SummerSlam. Boy is Brett a cheater ! He just whacked Sting with a FOREIGN object. After the ref is knocked out, Bret hits Sting with the nWo bat and applies the shrpshooter. The ref awakens and gives Bret the win. Sting leaves on a stretcher and is not seen again until Match of 1999. This was surprisingly a decent match, especially for Bret. *** - The Immortal Hulk Hogan (with Eric Bischoff) vs. The WARRIOR: OH MY GOD !! I think I am hyperventilating !!!!!!!!!! This match is happenin' right NOW and I CAN'T wait !!!! The bell rings and the match is underway. Don't you just LOVE it when HULK stalls ??? WOYAH wants a test (nAM, who really, really .... 1$ to da B-U-DUBBA Z) of strength, but the Hulkster just pummels the ULLLLLLLLLLLLTIMATE One. After another test (nAM, who really, really .... 2$ to da B-U-DUBBA Z) of strength, the two goes HARDcore and battle outside after a WOYAH clothesline. Then Mean Mike Tenay says the smartest thing of all-time when he calls this 'a fine wrestling match'. I hope he realizes that he wasted all those years watching lucha libre with his lover Ray Ray. They go back in the ring to amaze the crowd by letting us see their vast repertoire of wrestling manoevers but when Nick Patrick gets knocked out, the nWo intereferes with that plan. It fails, and we get the clini that we were promised. Hogan then proceeds to take out the weight belt~! and gives him American Weight Beltage #1, but the WOYAH ends up by getting it and uses it to his advantge. Folks, I have NEVER seen a match this good on a WCW or WWF Pay Per View since the Kennel From Hell match which is just one year away. Then, HULK, who must have learned this trick for the photographer from KOR 1993, tries to blow a fireball to WOYAH and BOY does that connect !!! WOYAH is a house of fire and gives Hulk a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG Double Ax handle off of the top. Then, due to the massive hands (of stone) of the WOYAH, Hulk must have been cut in the forehead since he is now bleeding. WOYAH hits THREE CLOTHESLINES in a row to knock the Immortal One down. Then the H-Bomb (who MUST be on the side of the WOYAH since Hulk hit Horace with a chair and cut him open on Monday Nitro) has a chair. Then EZE distracts the ref as Horace whacks WOYAH with a chair !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hollywood makes the cover ... 1 ..... 2.......... 3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ************ I didn't think they could do it, but they actually wrestled a BETTER match than WMVI !! - WCW World Champion Goldberg vs. challenger Diamond Dallas Page: Folks, that's NOT all !!!! There's still the main event !!! I don't think I can review anymore, but I must ... for T-LOWE ! The crowd is just HOT from the previous match. Sadly enough, Goldberg and DDP do NOT work well together because this is pretty sad. The end sees DDP going for the Quadruple D (Diamond Dallas Death Drop), but Goldberg SPEARS him and injures his arm in the process. When he goes for the jackhammer, he just can't, so DDP hits the Diamond Cutter. The ref counts to 2 and DDP goes for a suplex, but DA BOMB reverses it and hits the jackhammer. * I'm generous.