Well, I was forced to recap this PPV. Why ??? Because I promised that whoever (nN) was the 1000th visitor to my site would tell me what PPV he wants to see, and I would do it (as long as it came from wCw, WWF or HoW). Sadly, it was my EVIL foe, EVIL BIG JOSH. And, he wanted me to see this event. So here we go.
- Live from Pittsburgh (not Pitty City) Pennsylvania. Jerry The Burger King Lawler (that's a first!!! harharhar) and 'good' OLD J.R sadly are our hosts. Hey, I guess JR's mom is still alive cause half of his face is still alive, well, at least compared to what his Twister Face looks like now (I JUST STUNG R@SS!) ! - Taco Michono Koko B. Ware and the Head Bangers vs. Kaught-In-Tai-Land (with Yamaguchi San) : *YAWN* -**. NEXT .... (BTW Taco's team won) - Everybody's favorite lady Sable (who was just re-hired from the WWF by Vince McMahon) introduces Vince and the Stooges to the squared circle. Vince basically says that there is No Chance In Hell that Austin will leave the building the WWF Champ. - The World's Most Dangerous Crazy Man Ken Shamrock vs. The Chosen One Jeff Jarrett, Actor Beater (with Tennessee Lee/Col. Robert Parker) in a 2nd Round King of the Ring Match : I don't remember, but it is possible that Double J entered ringside with his glowing horse ! This is after Jarrett was the NWA North American Champion. Why Russo got rid of that idea, is beyond me !! This is also pre-'Don't TICK me off'. He still had his long golden locks. Despite the interference by Lee, Shamrock beat up Double J (J-E-Double F J-A-Double R- E - Double T. Hahahaha. That's Jeff Jarrett) and gets the win with a Frankensteiner. * - Dan The Beast Severn (with the millions of millions) vs. The cRock (without the millions of millions) in a 2nd Round King of the Ring Match : To the delight of the crowd, Dan shows why HE is the MOST ELECTRIFYING man in sports entertainment when he WRESTLES !! Sadly, cRocky wins when D-Lo does his frog-splash (with chest protector) on Severn. * - Al Snow and Head vs. Too Much (without 'Cool', but with shampoo {not Kanyon - 1$ to THA JUICE}) with Jerry The Father Lawler as referee : Tha story by TAFKADF1 is brought to you by 'Head and Shoulders' : When the Underatker SNAPPED and attacked Vince McMahon, Jerry felt that he needed protection. He got ECW reject Al Snow to protect him. When that plan backfired, Lawler was so peeved at Al that he sent his goons Too Much to eliminate Snow. So this match was signed. And when you talk about a match that changes the business, you think King of the Ring 98. More specifically, Too Much/Snow & Head ! Al and Head are cleaning house until Jerry gives his good friend Brian a bottle of 'Head and Shoulders' in order to attach it to Head. With that done, the future Grand Masta Sexay gets the pin for his team ! Yes folks. This match was THAT good ****** - X-Pac (with the NINTH Wonder of the World Chyna) vs. Owen Hart (with The World's Strongest Man Mark Henry) : This is X-Pac's return WWF match and first one since Fall Brawel 97. This is the debut of the BETTER X-Pac, but Owen just drags him down to his level. This is a see-saw match-up with Owen getting the upperhand until Vader distracts Henry which prevents Owen to get DDTed by Chyna. This gives X-Pac the win. DUD (not Dudleys) - WWF Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs. challengers NWA Tag Team Champions The NEW (and IMPROVED) Midnight Express (with James E. Cornette) : Talk about a PPV-worthy match ! Of course the NME are Bombastic Bob (Holly) and Bodacious Bart (Gunn). So does this mean we have the BIG payoff from the 96/97 Gunn family feud ????? I think so !! The match is boring. The NAO wins. -***3/4. - The World's Most Dangerous Crazy Man Ken Shamrock vs. The cRock in the Final Round of the King of the Ring : Last year's King of the Ring, The Fake HHH is doing commentary. Another long and boring match. Let's shorthand this a bit; Shamrock wins. -**** - The PHENOM of the WWF, The UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDERTAKER vs. MutantKind in a Hell in a Cell Cage Match : So. I bet all you people wonder what I think of this match. After all I am one of Fat Foley's most vocal critics (or crickets). Well let me recap this match first. Foley climbs the cage to start off as UT is making his way down the aisle. The PHENOM decides to do the same and for a few minutes, the two are brawling on top of the cage. Finally, UT decides to kill off Foley by throwing him off of the cage. Sadly UT has a bad shot, and send Foley falling to the Spanish announce table. That must have no hurt a bit, since Fat Foley landed on his big fat rump. All of a sudden, paramedics, along with Vince McMahon and Terry Funk takes Foley away on a stretcher. But being brain dead, 'man'kind decides to CONTINUE to fight the Undertaker. He climbs the cage again, but this time, UT decides to chokeslam Folay into the cage, but the Cage, does not agree with that move as it proceeds to break and Foley falls into the ring as the 'square' that let failed to take the impact fell on Foley's face which proceeds to force one of Foley's tooth to find its way to his nose, going THROUGH the skin. The medics and Funk race to see how Foley is doing as they try to revive him. But UT stops them and continues to beat up on the poor, fat mental patient. At one point you can CLEARY see that Foley cuts himself open (did he even need that ?). HA !! You will never see Hulk Hogan make a mistake like that on national TV !! Mankind tries his best to win the match, but the Creatures of the Night give strength to the PHENOM. Frustrated, Foley fins a magical bag of beans ... oops, those are thumbtacks !! He tries to drive UT on to the little weapons, but that plan backfires. UT gets the chokeslam on the tacks and if that isn't enough, the Tombstone ends this match. Now, how do I rate this match ?? Well the first time I watched this match, I was bored of my rocker. I fell asleep and prayed that Foley would stay DOWN only to end this match. On second viewings, this match got better and better. The only things that ruined this match were the bumps by Foley. The wrestling was TOP NOTCH !These guys could teach Stu Hart on how to wrestle, if Stu still hasn't awoken from that 15-year coma. For WRESTLING value only, I give it a *****. This is ALMOST as good as Hogan/Warrior II !! - WWF World Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. challenger Kane in a First Blood Match : The rules are whoever bleeds first wins the match. That simple folks. The match is a typical brawl, then suddenly the Hell in a Cell cage lowers. At one point, referee Earl Hebner is knocked unconscious for a LONG time. Then, Mutantkind waddles his way back to the ring with a chair, but Austin stuns him. Suddenly, the PHENOM enters with a chair of his own in attempt to help his good buddy Stone Cold. UT tries to hit Foley with the chair, but the plan backfires as he accidently hits Austin. The impact of that shot is so bad that Austin starts to bleed. The ref sees Austin with blood and declares Kane the new WWF Champion. ****. One of the better Austin matches.