Other Classic DF1
'This is the REAL DugganFan !!' from August 5, 1996
Hey folks, the REAL DF1 back here to talk to you. I had to change my screen
name since the good old folks at AOL figured DugganFan-mania was running too
wild for them ! I want to address the problem I've had with my clones. I
figured out who was behind it, and it's none other than that rotten Ted
DiBiase !
It seems not only does DiBiase want to ruin ol' Hacksaw's life, he wants to
make it worse for his fans. Did he dig up these clones like that other
Undertaker at SummerSlam 94 ? That was cool. I can't believe that rotten
Giant has also turned his back on WCW (WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY) and joined
DiBiase. Well, I guess as they say, like father, like SON OF ANDRE ......
DF1
(me thinks it's time for some 2X4 clubberin')
'Hacksaw Jim Duggan makes the ULTIMATE challenge ....' from July 31, 1996
HOOOOOO !!! Many of you RSPW guys have been wondering why I have not yet
responded on what happened this past monday night. Well here it is : Hacksaw
Jim Duggan ALWAYS speaks the TRUTH (unlike some little bonehead up north and
his stupid CLIQ !). What he said after a GRUELING battle with the extremely
tough and talented Mike Enos, was completely TRUE ! Yes, Hogan is a great
techical wrestler, but Hogan, Jim doesn't want a match with you, he wants to
do to you what he does best : BEAT PEOPLE UP !!!! Do you know how
heartbreaking this is for Jim's daughter, whose first words were "hulkster"
? (Personally, I hope my child's first words are a big HOOOOOO !!!!!! right
out of the womb)
Well, the challenge has been made. Hogan, you yellow-belly COWARD, you can
forget about another Oscar nomination because after ol' Hacksaw gets through
with you, his taped fists will make sure you can't speak anymore! For that
person who asks me who I like in the Hogan-Giant match at Hog Wild (I'll be
arriving there on my tricycle), well, I don't like the SON OF ANDRE, but I
don't like that TRAITOR either. I hope they beat each other's brains out !!
Then Hacksaw will take both of these chumps carcasses and kick them both out
of WCW for good !! HOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!
DF1
(fan of Jim Duggan, RULER OF THE WORLD)
'WCW vs. Outsiders' from July 26, 1996
WCW is AT WAR, folks. For two months, the Outsiders (WE KNOW WHO THEY ARE)
came in every week on Nitro and kept putting down WCW (WHERE THE BIG BOYS
PLAY). Like all of you, I was SHOCKED and APPALLED when the BIG MAN threw
Eric Bischoff thru a table at the Great American Bash ! I'm sure he
appreciated the flowers and get-well cards we all sent him. I couldn't wait
for team WCW to get these guys at Bash at the Beach. But when Hulk Hogan was
revealed to be the 3rd man, I had never been so shocked in my entire life.
It was like when the Bodydonnas turned good, but the opposite. HOW COULD
YOU, HULK ????? WCW MADE YOU, MAN !!!!! Now, only one man can turn the
tables and lead WCW to victory against these outsiders and that man, my
friends, is none other than HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN !!!!! HOOOOOO !!!!
When Ol' Hacksaw gets his hands on you, you TRAITOR, although it'll tear him
up to do so, he'll knock you out with his taped fists and make sure his 3
point stance ENDS YOUR CAREER !!!! One word of advice to WCW promoters, be
sure to sign this match for Uncensored 97, to continue the great tradition
of awesome matches at this classic event !HOOOOOO !!!!!
As for the two thugs, I got a few questions, why do they never wear their
outfits they wore in the WWF ? Did they confiscate them or what ? That Vince
McMahon must be really losing it, from the day he let ol' Hacksaw get away
to when he says Vader has fans (that can't be true, because he CHEATS !)
.....
Eric and Bobby The Weasel keep forgetting their names too, and have started
to call them Nash and Hall. They're probably just nervous about the WAR.
By the way, despite the rumors that have been running around, ol' Hacksaw
ISN'T, and NEVER WILL BE an Outsider !! Like the Macho Man, he KNOWS which
federation made him, why WCW of course, WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY !!!! HOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!
DF1
(ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK)
'My NYC Experience' from August 14, 1997
I went to the Big Apple a couple days ago, and while I was at Times Square,
I let out a big HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !! And all
these chicks started to come after me !!! So use these trick wisely my
fellow NODites !!
DF1
(I took a couple of girls home with me, then we watched a bunch of Hacksaw's
wrestling matches against that mean ol' nasty VK WallStreet, then after 15
min., the girls paid me money so they can leave. I guess they didn't feel
worthy of watching Jim's OUTSTANDING wrestling skills)
'The Real DugganFan's question about the Warrior' from July 6, 1996
Hey folks, Jim DugganFan1 here. I'd like to say that I'm sorry to hear
about the death of the Ultimate Warrior. I know this is the 5th Warrior
that the WWF has had, and it's really sad to see another one go.
In case you didn't know, the first Warrior died after being poisoned by a
snake bite. The second ran off into seclusion after Papa Shango put a curse
on him. The 3rd, as we all know, was the Renegade in WCW. The 4th is the
Renegade's partner, Desperado Joe Gomez. And the 5th was the man formerly
known as the Ultimate Solution in WCW. Why else would Jerry Lawler say that
the Warrior had shaved his head?
I hope that the WWF finds a new Warrior very soon. I know that this
"appearance bond" is just a smokescreen for the WARRIOR's passing, but
please do not lie to the fans anymore.
How about Tugboat for a new Warrior? I miss him. He can do a pretty good
splash just like the Warrior.
DF1
(has his face paint on & his fists taped)
'Hacksaw RULES !!!! HOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!' from August 5, 1996
HOOOOOOOO !!!! Hey folks, DugganFan1 here, the REAL, the ORIGINAL, the ONE
AND ONLY back. Sadly, I've been stopped in my efforts to get back to the USA
! USA ! USA ! so I'm stuck for now. Here are some things I was thinking of
this weekend while carving another 2x4 :
This situation with the Outsiders (YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE) is getting really
ugly. I hate them even more now that they attacked the American Males. Look
for Hacksaw to team up with John Tenta and the Renegade to take out the
trash in WCW, WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY !
John Tenta would be assigned to Razor. Big John would beat up this so-called
STUD so much he'd retire him and force him to sell off his DIAMONDS for a
living !!!! HOOOOOOO !!!!!!
The Renegade would have Diesel's number. His punches are so hard they'd
knock Vinnie Mac's Boy all the way to VEGAS ! In fact, he'll probably knock
him all the way to the land of OZ !!!! ha ha ha !
And as you know, the man JIM DUGGAN would obliterate Hollywood Hulk Hogan.
But for rumors concerning a 4th man, I wouldn't worry about it. One taped
fist punch from ol' Hacksaw would strike this punk like LIGHTNING. Beating
this guy, for Jim, would be as easy as 1-2-3 !!
On another note, I started watching the WWF again, despite no Warrior
anymore. I saw Wildman Marc Mero, and thought to myself, this Johnny come
lately ain't too BAD, but I don't think he can play WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY
!!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOO !!!!!
Where is the Bootyman ? Last time I saw him, he was at the butcher's, but he
was begging for barber tools. Every time the salesman told him they didn't
have any, Booty would say "YES, you do !". They spent 10 minutes arguing,
saying "YES ! NO ! YES ! NO ! YES ! NO !". Very strange .......
Where is the Repo Man ? Although this guy was very annoying to watch, he
sure could SMASH his opponents !! He liked to demolish them only like a
BULLY does !!!
What's with this guy Dok Hendrix ????
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWELL, he's TERRIBLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Somebody should this BAD commentator out on the STREET !!! Set him as free
as a bird, Vince !!!!!!!
As for the Dungeon of Doom, the worst there would have to be Hugh Morrus! I
think somebody in WCW (WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY) should immediately TERMINATE
his contract !!!!
The pathetic excuse of a Hacksaw Jim Duggan ripoff, T.L. Hopper is so DIRTY
that he makes me ashamed to be a WHITE BOY !!!!!!
Freddie Joe Floyd looks awesome for the WWF, but if he were in WCW (WHERE
THE BIG BOYS PLAY) I think he'd get SMOTHERED in a minute.
That Leeth Cassady seems to get dorkier by the minute ! I can't wait till
somebody takes him and buries him in the SNOW.
What's with the manager of Shawn Michaels, Jose SUPER SOCKS Lothario ? I've
heard that during his career, he used to beat his opponents by hitting them
with taped socks, A.K.A. SUPER SOCKS !!! For ripping off ol' Hacksaw, Jim
should return to the WWF and introduce this foreigner to his SUPER TAPED
FISTS !!!!! HOOOOOOOOOO !!!!! USA ! USA ! USA !
Last but not least, I haven't seen Jim The Anvil Neidhart in a long time.
WHO knows where he is ??????
Well, that's all, folks, by the way, to those posting Hacksaw SUCKS messages
on MY newsgroup, you should be expecting a taped fist knockout anyday now.
HOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!
DF1
(I don't drive a 4x4, but a 2x4, HOOOOOOO)