Due to POPULAR demand, I have decided to review WrestleMania VI as my first review for my site. While I am doing that, I will be giving you my own SPECIAL~! brand of commentary. This review is dedicated to my UA BRAHS !
- The stars demand that we see HULK/WARRIOR I on the 1st of April 1990. This is the ULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTIMATE CHALLENGE. - Live from Toronto ............ AL-BERTAAAAA K... ooops, Ontaro KKKanaadia (I was surprised that KKKanaadia has another province), Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse the Governor Ventura (harharharhar ... I must be the first person to make that joke!). Those two babble on and on as we begin the ULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTIMATE Pay Per View. - The Birdman Koko (You Betta) B. Ware (with Frankie, his inspiration in life and life partner) vs. Rick (Yes I Am Not) The Model Martel : This is an exciting 3 minute match between these two TOP CONTENDERS for the WWF title. Sadly, the Birdman loses this one as he falls prey to the Boston Crab. *** - WWF Tag Team Champions The Colossal Connection (with Bobby Heenan) vs. challengers Demolition (whom lost the tag belts earlier on in the year) : The story behind this match is a simple one. The Tag Team Champs Demoltion lost the belts to the team of Ander the Gaint and Haku (the identitcal cousin of wCw's MONSTAAAA MENG) on an edition of WWF Superstars (this was the classic match where one of the Demos was in the ring the whole time while Ander and Haku double teamed him). The bell rings as Haku and Ax spends almost the whole match fighting. Why ? Because Haku was affraid that Smash might kick his teth in, and Ander was just in his prime and didn't want to overexcite the crowd. After a few minutes, Haku accidently kicks Ander and Demolition does the Decapitation on Haku and win the belts back for a 3rd time, and final time. After the match, Bobby berates the Gaint, but Ander won't take it anymore and he HEADBUTTS Bobby to near death (which results in his neck problems, which results in Bobby no longer managing) and Haku gets THRASHED too !! ***** - The MIGHTY Hercules (with chains~!) vs. The KKKanaadiaan Earthquake (with that guy who is lower than a snake in the grass Jimmy Hart and KKKKanaadiaan Strong Guy Dino Bravo Sauce) : When you talk about an enduring WrestleMania moment, this is one that you just CAN'T forget !! Earthquake makes his WM debut as he crushes the MIGHTY GREEK GOD with two splashes. Herc leaves on stretcher. **** - Miss Liz is interviewed for the viewing pleasure of David E. Powell. - Brutus The Barber (With No Name) Beefcake vs. Mr. (I Hate Rap) Perfect Curt Henning : Back at the Rumble, the Barber cut the Genius's hair, so Curt wants revenge. After many minutes, The Barber beats the 'Perfect One' and he cuts the Genius's hair. The crowd just loves the Disciple of Barber college. *** - Half-White Rowdy Roddy Piper and Half-Black Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Bad Newwwwwwwwwwws Brown: Oh boy. This is one of those classic slobbernockers that you only pray for ! Roddy comes to the ring as white on one side of his body, and black on the other. After a few minutes of the MOST INTENSE HARDcore match you have EVER seen, the two street fighters go to a double count-out. ***** - Steve Allen STINGS~! the USSR !!!! - The Hart Foundation (Bertt Hart and Who?) vs. The Bolsheviks (with Karl Marx with his son Richard Marx and their whole communist PROPAGANDA): Niokolai goes to sing the Soviet national anthem as Bertt Hartt wrestles the best match of his career. Who and Bertt IMMEDIATELY goes for the Hart Attack and pins the EVIL Soviets. ***** - Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian (with Bobby The Weasel Heenan - harharharharhar, another first !!) : The Barbarian wrestles for the first time with Bobby as his manager. This is the beginning of his AWESOME singles career. Tito just gets squashed by this gaint. *** - The American Dream Dusty Rhodes and SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET Sapphire (with Elizabeth) vs. The Macho King and Queen (Scary) Sherri : What the WORLD is watching BRAHS !! This was the first ever mixed tag team match in WWF history, and the first is ALWAYS the best ! SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET Sapphire absolutely dismantles Sherri and Liz helps get the 'W' for the American Dream Team !! ***** - HULK gives another ******+ interview about how he is God (which we all know ... DUH !) - WARRIOR tells us his response as he seems to be pretty foked up for the BIGGEST MATCH EVER ! - The cRockers (with kewl 80's hair) vs. The Orient Express (without Kato and the EVIL Master -not P- Mister Fuji) : *YAWN* Marty Jannetty is counted out as the EVIL Orient Express gets the win. 1/2* - Hacksaw Jim Duggan (with flag) vs. KKKanaadiaan Strong Guy Dino Bravo Sauce (with that guy who is lower than a snake in the grass Jimmy Hart and the KKKanaadiaan Earthquake) : The KKKanaadiaan crowd REALLY responds to DA MAN as he gets GAGAed by Dino, John Tenta and Jimmy Hart. Even with a loss, this truly was ****** ! Earthquake does the most DEPLORABLE thing as he squashes the Hacksaw after the bout. - Steve Allen STINGS~! The Honky Tonk Man. - Million Dollar Champion Ted DiBiase (with Vicious Virgil) vs. challenger Jake The Snake Roberts (with Damien and maybe with a Coca Cola in his belly welly - which I hear he likes) : Jake stole the belt, and DiBiase wants it back. What a story !!! This a slow match between Jake (who won't see his prime for another 6 years) and DiBiase. DiBiase wins his belt back via count-out when Virgil prevents Jake from re-entering the ring. BOMB! - The Big Boss Man (with a big stick, but with no ball and chain too, if you're looking for trouble, he'll be coming after you) vs. The African Dream Akeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem (with Slick) : At WMV, it was the MEGA POWERS EXPLODE, and a year later it was the TWIN TOWERS EXPLODE !!! DiBiase tries to help Akeem get the win, but the BossMan can take on both men as he wins another one. ***** - Rythm 'N' Blues (with Jimmy Hart and Diamond Dallas Page) BRINGS DA HOUSE DOWN but those whacky Bushwhackers (harharharhar, I just made that up) end the song when they go to ringside. Why Greg Valentine isn't a musician today, is beyond me. - SU-SU-SUPER-FLY Jimmy Snuka vs. Ravishing Rick Rude (with Bobby Heenan) : Rude gets an easy victory here. ** - Sean Mooney interviews Mary Tyle Moore at ringside and she seems to be having the time of her life !! I think she said 'This is better than being at Oscars or the Emmys'. And now it is time for THE BIGGEST MATCH EVER IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT !! - World Wrestling Federation Heavyweight Champion of the World The Immortal Hulk Hogan vs. challenger The World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of the World The Ultimate Warrior : What can you say about this match that HASN'T been said ?? This is truly one the greatest match-ups that the wold has EVER seen !! The match had an aura to it. NOBODY knew who (nN) was going to win. I'm sure not even Dave Meltzer knew ! And who (nN) did pick to win ?? Well you talk about Sophie's choice ... I don't think I could have pick a victor. Now, I cannot possibly give you a blow-by-blow coverage of this match-up, so I go to Scott Keith (The WWF-Kop) for it - editied by MEEEEEE ! Staredown and shoving match to start, won by the Warrior, then Hogan. They do the test of strength: Warrior brings Hogan to his knees, then Hogan fights up and brings Warrior down. Crowd is absolutely rabid for every move. Hogan takes down Warrior and drops an elbow, then they do the CRISS-CROSS, which leads to a Hogan slam to which the Warrior feels NO PAIN. Another criss-cross, and a slam on Hogan, which Hogan sells. Warrior clotheslines Hogan to the floor, and Hulk injures his knee, and totally oversells it. Warrior stomps on it for good measure. Back in the ring and they poke each other in the eye and choke. Warrior jaws with the referee and Hogan takes the opportunity to clothesline Warrior in the corner and basically forget about the knee injury. Hogan drops an elbow for the first two-count and applies a facelock and a small package for two. Running clothesline gets two for Hogan. Backbreaker gets two. Hogan uses an ultra-weak chinlock, but drives some knees into the back to redeem it. Belly-to-back suplex gets two, then back to the chinlock. Warrior breaks free and they do the double-KO spot. Warrior shakes the ropes to hulk up, giving Hogan a taste of his own medicine by no-selling Hulk's offense. THREE CLOTHESLINES !!!!!! RUNNING SHOULDERBLOCK !!!!! Is the end of Hulk? Two cross-corner whips and a suplex gets two. Oh, no, it's the dread the AWESOME 30 MINUTE BEARHUG !!!! Hogan breaks free and Hebner gets wiped out on the criss-cross. Warrior goes to the top with a pair of double axehandles, but Hogan drives him face-first to the mat when he tries the running shoulderblock. No ref to count, and Jesse is right on the ball as he notes the irony of this after all the times it happened to Hogan's challengers. Warrior gets a belly-to-back as Hebner ... crawls ... over ... for ... the two count ! Crowd is on the verge of a collective heart attack, because they are witnissing the GREATEST MATCH EVER ! Hulk rolls up Warrior for two. Hogan with rights, and an elbow that sends Warrior to the floor, where they brawl for a bit. Back in the ring and Warrior with a clothesline and then...the Gorilla Press! Big splash...and it only gets two. Hogan makes the comeback, hulking up. Hogan no-sells the punches, delivers some of his own, then hits the Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig Boot. It is time for the legdrop and ... he ...... MISSES ?!?!?!! Warrior hits a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG splash and gets the pin. Half the crowd is delighted, the other half is in shock This truly was a ********** match. Over 20 minutes on intense WRESTLING action. The crowd, the story, the match, the athletisism was just to much to count for. Just like the ULLLLLLLTIMATE ALLIANCE, whenever I watch thi match, I still hope for HULK to connect, but he always misses. I am looking for the alternate ending of this match, but I just CAN'T find it ! Maybe in the DVD version ...